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John James, founder of The Grief Recovery Institute

John W. James

Founder of The Grief Recovery Institute®
Co-Author of The Grief Recovery
Handbook & When Children Grieve

Ask The Grief Experts

You may regret the decision NOT to attend a memorial more than the sad feelings you might have if you attend. (Published 5/17/2016)


My mother died two months ago after a long illness. She’d been coping with the illness, but she broke her hip and things went downhill quickly. Right after she died, I did pretty well, but about a month later I started to fall apart. I can't concentrate on work. I cry frequently. I feel guilty because I feel I could have done more for her. I had yesterday off from work and spent the entire day doing nothing, just crying. I have a lot to do in the house but I feel paralyzed. This Friday we're driving 1000 miles to deliver her ashes to where she wants them buried, and to have a small memorial service. I don't want to go on the trip. I don't want to go to the service. And I don't want to see old friends and relatives. It makes me sick to think about it......I just feel so bad all the time now.

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