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John James, founder of The Grief Recovery Institute

John W. James

Founder of The Grief Recovery Institute®
Co-Author of The Grief Recovery
Handbook & When Children Grieve

Ask The Grief Experts

Sad as it may be, you can't help someone who doesn't want help. (Published 12/06/16)


My daughter died two years ago from complications of diabetes and kidney failure. She was 27 years old. I miss her every single day, but I've been able to go on. She was so sick, had begun to have amputations, and she was not going to get any better. She was partially blind, wheelchair bound, and doing dialysis three times a week. She died peacefully in her sleep. My concern lies with my husband, who refuses to move on. The diabetic history is on his side of the family. His brother died much the same way our daughter did. My husband has diabetes also. He's drinking and says he can't get past her death. He can't wait until he can join her. He cries for her daily and is so wracked with guilt and grief he can hardly function. Then add alcohol to the mix. I firmly believe that if his life insurance would pay for suicide, he would be dead. I want to help him but don't know how. He is such a private person; he will not talk to anyone else about this.

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