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John James, founder of The Grief Recovery Institute

John W. James

Founder of The Grief Recovery Institute®
Co-Author of The Grief Recovery
Handbook & When Children Grieve

Ask The Grief Experts

He was not only my father he was my best friend. (Published 1-10-12)


I lost my dad about five weeks ago and I am truly devastated. Even though he was a chronically sick man, diabetes, congestive heart failure and high blood pressure, he seemed and acted fine all the time. He was not only my father he was my best friend. I miss him constantly, I think about him constantly.

I had spoken with him and there was something in his voice that was differen. Eight hours later he had a massive heart attack and died instantly. I keep wondering if I could have done something to save him. Should I have insisted he go to the hospital? I am so confused and all I do is cry constantly though not as much as I did a few weeks ago.

I am in a state of disbelief and all of this still feels like a dream, when does that end? Why am I now questioning my tenure as a daughter and if I did everything in my power to be the best daughter?

Most of all, will I ever feel whole again? I know this is a lot but even though I am 41 years old, this it my first real death experience and it hurts so bad it is physically painful.

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