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John James, founder of The Grief Recovery Institute

John W. James

Founder of The Grief Recovery Institute®
Co-Author of The Grief Recovery
Handbook & When Children Grieve

Ask The Grief Experts

If we knew it was going to be their last night, we'd move heaven and earth to be there (Published 3-20-2012)


Dear J &R,
I lost my dad April 10th so it's been a little less than a year. We were so so close. My dad was only 53 when he died suddenly. My dad was always afraid he would die young because his dad died when he was 53, so now I have this same thought as he did. I'm just like him and I'm afraid that I too will die at 53! I'm only 30 but can't help think that I also will be a diabetic and have a blood clot as my dad and his father did.

How can I get past the thought that I only have 23 years left, I know that know one knows the future but how do I get past these feelings? My other question is I am still angry and upset that I was not at the hospital when it happened I got the phone call at 3 am. I can't get past that I was not with him by his side every night. I have the same bad dream of running to the elevator at the hospital beating on the buttons till the doors open and running down the hall to his room! Not one night since his death have I slept without having this dream. I'm sure you can understand how this can affect every part of me and the day. Please help!!

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