Russell Friedman Replies:

Dear P,

Thanks for your note and question.

First, I need to say that neither John nor I are doctors, therefore we are not licensed or authorized to discuss any diagnosis that you’ve received from your doctor. However we can comment on some of you concerns, for example: “I feel like I have gone crazy.” That is one of the most frequent laments we hear from grieving people. As bad as it feels, it’s also normal and natural and logical. After all, your world is upside down. You and your husband were together for 12,775 days in a row, and then, in one heartbeat, he was no longer physically alive. Trying to adapt to your life in his absence can indeed make you feel crazy. As to support groups—a sad reality is that some support groups inadvertently support pain rather than recovery. Talking about how bad you feel every week makes you good at feeling bad. We suggest that you get a copy of “The Grief Recovery Handbook.” As you start reading it, you’ll probably begin to feel less crazy, and then as you start taking the actions it outlines, you’ll probably regain your reasons to live. [We know that grieving people always hear, “You have every reason to live,” and they want to scream back, “Yeah, name one.”]

We hope you find this response and the principles and actions in “The Grief Recovery Handbook” helpful.

From our hearts to yours,

Russell & John