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John James, founder of The Grief Recovery Institute

John W. James

Founder of The Grief Recovery Institute®
Co-Author of The Grief Recovery
Handbook & When Children Grieve

Ask The Grief Experts

By pulling away, you get a double dose of the pain when they die. (Published 10/8/2013)


My mema passed away about 2 years ago and life completely changed for me. I lost her when I was sixteen years old and never really got along with any of my other family members. For example, if I'd get in a fight with my mom, my mema would be there for me. She died really suddenly and I'm still consumed with grief. I feel like there's no point in the future because I planned my ENTIRE future around her. There are so many moments that I wonder why I have to be all by myself. My grandpa, her husband, is still alive although I find myself pulling away from not only him, but the family as a whole. I was just wondering, is life ever going to pan out and I'll be able to go on knowing it's okay that she died and I'm alone? I mean it's going to be a long time from now that I may see her again, but in the meantime, 16 and 69 is quite a difference in age.

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