Death of a Parent


My Dad

My dad, mama, grandmother and nephew had driven an RV from Georgia to Northern California in June. They arrived at my house on June 17. Dad wasn't feeling well and all he would say is "I'm just tired." Nothing really to be too concerned about considering the trip he had just taken. Six days later he went into the hospital where we were told that he had cancer. The next two days were filled with sadness, fear and anxiety for us as we quickly made plans for family members to fly out and drive my dad home. Three days later I flew to Georgia knowing that we had only weeks or days with dad. Dad passed from this world into eternal glory on July 2, 2009. I am grateful that the disease took my dad's physical body so quickly BUT my physical mind and body are having a very hard time accepting it. I am in my home now in California and every room I walk into is a memory of my dad either sitting or lying down. I, like many of you, struggle with being sad and with wanting to move forward with my life (the way dad would want me too). I feel like if I don't think about my dad the memory of him will be forgotten. I feel helpless and alone. Very, very sad. Often, I cry myself to sleep and wake crying even more. I know time will heal my broken heart, although it doesn't feel like it at the moment. I am so thankful to God for allowing dad to make it back to Georgia and be at home surrounded my his children and his grandchildren as he passed. I also thank God for not allowing dad to suffer a long and tiring illness. My dad was 68 years old. I miss my dad terribly. He is in heaven now with his father and with his Father God and his Savior Jesus, with a cloud of wittnesses they are cheering us on to complete the race that is for each one of us. One day we will all be together, forever.
  posted by YayYay62 on July 21, 2009


Comments:

Thanks for sharing that very touching story... I hope when my parents pass I get to know ahead of time and be there to say goodbye.
Hang in there -- I'm sure your Dad was very proud of you.

  posted by Huron on July 26, 2009

I know how you feel. I lost my dad suddenly in May. I have the same broken heart. It's a pain that is deep and unbearable at times. The only thing that keeps me going is having the same hope, that we will see them again in heaven. My words seem meaningless but I just wanted you to know that your not alone.

  posted by April on July 26, 2009

I noticed you use the same words while expressing the experience of loosing a dad, mom, or grandparent sadness, fear, and anxiety. I too have felt helpless thinking of not getting past this void in life. Mom had been close all my life. She was around to help me through dad’s passing. A lot of times I wish dad was around for some advice. After mom there is no one and I feel alone, very sad, and often cry myself to sleep or waking up. Like you had mentioned, I too thought of loosing memory of them. But in time, one of life’s strange ways is to watch and learn how things evolve. Somehow we manage to find something we can understand. Everybody eventually ends up without loved ones. To make it simple I throw out the junk. I keep only the things that mean the most. Diseases can take away our memory. If that should happen, how will we know the difference? The heartbeat they gave us will be with us until in heaven after which, we will have always been together.

  posted by JoeD on July 28, 2009

I like you have experienced the pain of losing my father suddenly. We found out after he went to the hospital doubled over in pain, that he had an anyurisum for two year. The doctors said at that point it would be too risky to operate with it being so small. We did not know until August 6, 2009 when that he even had this condition because he kept it to himself. He went to the ER on thursday 8/06 and was doubled over with stomach pain. They did an MRI and discovered he had a ruptered anyrism in his stomach. Once we arrived at the hospital he was in emergency surgery and the doctors told us he had very little chanceof surviving the surgery. He made it through the night and we received a call at 5:00AM in the morning that we needed to go back to the hospital. He had very litttle time left so they called the family together. He passed away at 9:30AM Friday morning.We tried to ask him a year ago about his "plans" if something should happen to him as my mother is in poor heath too. He was evasive and said we had nothing to worry about if anything happened to him. We never were able to find out where he kept his life insurance or personal records of itf he had a will. I too was daddy's girl growing up. I have made my mistakes over the years was married right out of high school. He always supported me and our family through our years of growing up. I just lost my father in law 6 weeks ago also. ...So we are still dealing with that loss. he was in poor health also, but that does not make the pain any better. In July 2001 I also lost a son. Brad was 21 at the time and I was devestated. I felt as though God was punishing me for the bad things I did as I was growing up and took my son as punishment. I blamed myself, for not being a better mother, and not being able to prevent his death. I also felt that I had to be sad and grieve to honor his memory or he would be forgotten. I learned through counseling five years after his death that he would want me to be happy and live a productive life. I can very much relate to your pain. The most difficult thing is having someone to tell you how you should feel. "They are in a better place now and etc. There is no one who can tell you how you "should feel" or that you should be over it by now as I have often heard. You sometimes just take things one day at a time and that is all you can do. I hope this helps.
God's Blessing to you and your Family
Donna Hiers

  posted by candygirl1 on August 16, 2009

I will keep you in My Prayers, I know your pain. I lost My Dad Nov 24th 08 and My Mother May 7th 09 My Brother Fathers Day 09. I know your pain very well. I will keep you in My Prayers.

  posted by Frances on September 06, 2009