Death of a Parent


Anger

It's midnight and it has only been 12 days since my Mother passed away. I have been angry for two straight days. It is tough to get going in the mornings but I know that I need to keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep moving; doing things that responsible people do. I am afraid to cry, if I start I may not end for a long, long time. Logically I know that we all die a some point, but emotionally I cannot cope right now/ . My Mother would have been 80 years old this year, so yes she lived a long life, but why, after all of the pain that she endured during her life did she have to die with so much pain? Through it all she was gracious, and apologetic for having to rely on us for her care. I was honored to be able to help; I wanted to breathe for you those last hours. I don't know if heaven exists, but I hope that you are in the arms of your husband, my father, surrounded by people in your past who loved you. There are many people down here who will continue to love you for the rest of their days. You were a wonderful woman, an amazing mother, a special grandma, and spectacular great-grandma. I am not looking forward to going to your home next week because you will not be there. It will make things so much more final and I don't think I want to accept that yet. You will always be loved and you will definitely be missed. A piece of my heart died with you on August 1, but the rest of it will hold you close forever.
  posted by Winamand on August 13, 2009


Comments:

My mother, my best friend died on May 26th and I'm still numb. I know your feelings of not wanting to cry for fear of never being able to stop...the only good thing I can say about that is...you'll sleep afterwards. You are at a horrible time right now no doubt, I'm just beginning to emerge. I hold fast to my beliefs that Mom IS in heaven and it's a much better place with her being there. When she was diagnoised w/lung cancer we thought we had maybe a year, it turned out to be less than 3 months. She died in our bed in my arms, as she slept with me everynight, and I miss that so much, I feel like I'm going to shatter. I'm sorry, I'm meaning to give you support...It does get better, an inch at a time, just don't stifle your emotions, let the tears fall, the anger rage, the guilt come and go and one day you'll wake up and notice that it is a teeny bit better. It won't hurt so much to see her pictures and you'll laugh at a funny rememberance, and start to tell stories/memories. Like you my husband & I were honored that we were able to care for mom, she was the most wonderful person I'd ever known and we were blessed to have her in our lives as you were to have your mom. Enjoy your memories, laugh as much as possible and know that she's happier where she is now (we aren't but they certainly are). Peace be with you.

  posted by saddaughter on August 29, 2009

I know exactly how you feel. My mother passed away July 27th 2009 at the age of 59. She had had lymphoma cancer for about a year and was going into her second round of chemo (very aggressive this time) and within 4 months she had a heart attack, caught pneumonia, fell and broke her hip and then had a stroke. To watch my beautiful rock-n-roll hippie mom suffer in misery was the hardest thing i have ever done. Why did this wonderful woman suffer like she did. Why are there human and animal killers roaming this earth without a care. I could just go on, but then i get all riled up.

Be strong - michelle

  posted by Bellab1228 on September 23, 2009

My Mama died May 2009 and I am just now dealing with ANGER
I'm mad at everyone that was mean to her, done anything to her, hurt her feelings said the wrong thing to her
I MAD, ANGER, HURT, I guess that comes with someone you love passes on.
I'm not doing a good job of holding it in, I am over 300 miles from where she is resting, my only sister
took flowers off my mama's grave that I had a flower shop to put on Mama's grave and all my sister can say
LIFE GOES ON. I HAVE LOST ALL my family because I told everyone of them that had hurt my mama just how I felt
I hate to say this but I FEEL BETTER. I don't know if you understand what I'm trying to say, BUT I KNOW A LITTLE ABOUT ANGER IN OUR HEARTS AND I AM VERY MAD MAMA'S GONE, SO maybe we can pray for each other
and get over this annger together.

  posted by nannyp on October 02, 2009

Hi
I have been praying for you and I just was wanting to know how you where doing,
I have been worried about you, I do know what you are going threw.
please take care.
nannyP

  posted by nannyp on October 11, 2009

I agree with Anger. You will feel better if you let the tears fall and that alone will help you deal with the death of your Mother. Always carry a batch of kleenex in your pocketbook or your pocket and when the time comes (no matter where you are) CRY! I was told by my Mother when I was younger, not to cry anymore (I guess I must have been a crybaby) and when I would start to cry, she would make me shut up. Up to a few years ago, I couldn't cry no matter how bad a situation was. My break came when I went to a friends funeral and my sister-in-law told me that it was okay to cry. I will NEVER forget those words. For years I still couldn't cry at anything and developed a cold hard mean heart. Now, I cry and when I do, I feel so much better. Then I will stop because I can't cry anymore. Then I will start crying again sometime later. It is comforting to cry and don't hold it in.

  posted by PreciousLove on November 12, 2009