Death of a Spouse


MY MITCH

I recently lost my newly husband on Sept 6 2009 on one of our motorcycle rides..Usually he rides with the guys on sundays and plays up in the mountains.But this sunday he said he wanted to spend as much time with his new wife.So we went for a mellow ride and headed for breakfast at Barretts cafe.He dropped me off as he saw many bikers riding up the hill,he asked me nicely with his boyish smile,"sweety is it ok if i catch up with the boys and play for a minute,and i promise i be right back and we have breakfast?"I said ok,if you promise you be right back.His last words was i promise i be back in 5 minutes,i love you...He never came back..as i waited and waited,more bikers was coming down to the cafe talking about a crash.first thougt it was a car accident,so i figured thats why mitch was late becausing he's helping out.but 3 bikers came down,same bikers that saw us in gas station and said no it was a motorcycle that was down.they asked where my man was.i said he went to play for a a bit and hasn't came back..thats when my whole nightmare started...he was only 2 minutes away from me.he was keeping his promise and riding back to me but crashed and died..i was in denial till we laid him to rest this past saturday..i lost my other half,my bestfriend,lover and husband.i'm trying to find strength to function and especially get up in morning.i still have not gone to work,just barely starting to drive..but how do you let go of someone that you were with everyday and everynight.did everything together and had many plans for the future.i can't get myself to wash his clothes,i feel if i do his last smell and touch will be gone forever..one minute im ok then next one little about his memories i start to cry..i go through up and down emotions of missing him,being scared without him,empty without him, then angry he left me.angry at myself for not putting my foot down and not letting him go up the hill.at one point i got angry at god for taking him so quickly..how do you get back to normal?i miss him so much..i keep thinking he's gonna pull in the garage and come up the stairs and come home...i miss and love you so much mitch.

love always and forever,
your wife sarah
Posted by semp on September 15, 2009


Comments:

MY ROBBIE

vows, that was July 2009. We both were happy and our boddies felt fairly well. We both had health prSarah, my heart goes out to you! My Robbie and I had been married 30 years and I fiannly got him to renew ouroblems
and had raised our Grandson since birth and our son gave me away . Our daughter failed to show as she had since DRUGS became her family.

We were hurt and our daughter and son was my husbands life and Ashton the son rose and sat in him and by now we had a grandaughter, she was with us for that week and her and Dad played all the time. He had became so sick that, he told me he was going to die at home. I told him he better not, and I need him and how much I loved him. It was he and I, two peas in a pod.

On November 4, 2006, I kept hearing a noise, and i expressed he was scarring me. I turned over and went to screaming, calling 911, our son, my Mother who prayed, we worked hard the sight none of us will ever forget amd i flipped off the bed backwards and i have had 3 back surgeries, i had no strength to acpolishe the deed to help MY ROBBIE, the only one I ever dated at 16 we new we were going to be together.
I raise MY ASHTON, he keeps me going , because we are all we have.

The days run together, the nights, the anger, the loniness, my bestfriend since I was 16, everyone disappeared even his family. The grandkids want there Dad, our children ran more to drugs and away from us.
Robbie, was a big man but really a teddy bear! Hard worker, loyal, protected me his MS.ANN.

Prayers for you and my heart grives for you and knows how you truly feels, hold on sweetie, there is one that will never leave us nor forsafe us, because I'd never have made it this far.

posted by Cathyann on September 19, 2009

I am so sorry for your loss.My heart hurts with you.I just loss my husband of 7yrs. been together a total of 20yrs to a tragic car accident on Aug.6,2009.I'm still hurtin so bad it seems like I just can't get back to normal.We have 6 kids,5boys and a girl.That range in ages from16 to 2yrs.old.I was just with him that night and he wanted to go hang out with his friends.I let him go thinkin (oh GOD has him..He is safe) and I know God will bring him back to me.Well own his way back he was speedin an the car went off an bridge, hit a tree,an he was killed instantly. The trauma,the devastating blow to the heart made me immediately start shakin with the unknown possibility that he was gone an wasn't gonna be able to help me with the kids.I started getting sick an goin into shock.He was the only one working and I had nothing an was goin to have to plan a funeral and be the one to call close family members to let them know of his passin.LORD Y ME!!!!!!I cried,my kids cried, we can't get past it .It is still a shock and a terrible dream ;I can't seem to wake up from.Me and my kids are in grief counseling and I'm under a doctor's care for anxiety.Some days r better than others you just take it one day at a time,and prayer truly helps to keep my heart strong and me from breakin down!I couldn't imagine not being able to take care of kids.Keep positive,spiritual people around you(cause right now u can't handle anything negative)Go to a doctor.They can help you feel better mentally.Talk about it an don't hold it in..If u feel the need to talk (Talk)I still don't have an appetite and I'm workin on that.I read time heals all wounds but really what do u do until time kicks in..I love you an I don;t know u.Just try an stay busy an focus on yourself an spirituality.If u need someone to talk to e-mail me at lsc2123@yahoo.com an I'll give u my number.

posted by shonda on September 23, 2009

Hi , I don't know how I came across this ? But reading your story ,all I can say is I do know how you feel . On sept 23 2007 . I lost my wife of 22 yrs in a motorcycle accident. In vt . on a winding road . I was in frt. of her, friends in back . She left 2 kids 17 and 11. I'm so lucky they were not with us that day. They road with us frequently ! I know there's nothing that can be said . I just hit the 2 yr mark , it still sucks ! she was 43 . I remember that day ,like it happened this sec. I know everyone is telling you it will get better , and it does but its always there . People ask how I'm doing and I say great , I do have a great life .Love my kids . It's just different . Not the way it was planed. My name is Gary .

posted by crazynewlife on October 19, 2009

We have been old bikers from way back. I know exactly what you are going through as I lost my best friend, husband, soul mate, and care giver which I did everything with for the past 15 years...and today is his birthday. I danced with his ashes in my arms. I too am angry, emotional, not knowing who will cut wood as I'm not capable and all alone at 50. I was the sick one and then he died with no health insurance for tests. I too blame myself, and am angry at God for not hearing my prayers at the hospital.

posted by windyhair on October 27, 2009