Death of a Parent
My Mother
My mother was 82 when she died. She had COPD and diabetes. She had fallen on Labor Day and it took 2 days to convince her to go to the Dr's. She had a broken rib and fractured rib. They gave her Vicodin and sent her home. I was on vacation that week and was with her. She wouldn't eat or bathe so I was after her all the time to do both. Monday, 9/14. she complained of pain and i made her eat a bowl of cereal before getting the pill.
I left for work. She didn't pick up when I called at 1pm and at 5pm.
When I got home she was on the floor of her bedroom dead.
The medical examiner said it was quick and there wouldn't have been anything I could have done. I don't believe it.
She had oxygen delivery that day.
She was trying to get her portable oxygen together when she died.
The phone was in the bathroom, she wasn't hooked up to her oxygen and she wasn' t using her walker.
I think the pressure of dealing with the oxygen delivery caused the initial problem and if I'd been there I would have been taking care of everything and it wouldn't have happened.
I have been depressed most of my life and I honestly don't know where this is going to end up.
Comments:
My sincerest condolences on the loss of your dear mother. Right now the wound is open & raw. Time changes everything, even how we feel about ourselves. My mother was my constant companion and best friend. When she died I thought I died too. And I guess part of me did. I blamed myself for years. In the meantime, my children grew up with a not-so-attentive mother, and my husband learned how to take up the slack for me, so deep in the mire of depression that I was. It takes time and TALKING. Talk about it as much as you can stand it. Somehow, when you say things out loud enough times, you find out you CAN live thru it and come out on the other side of the misery. It's not easy, not pretty, but I know my mother is finally at peace knowing I am finally at peace. You'll never stop missing her, but you will be able to celebrate her life and your memories together. Good luck, Linda. I will be praying for you.
Linda I was 46 when I lost my mom. It was just me and mom. I was caretaker for 14 years. I know it is very depressing to loose a mom. Depressing is hardly the word to describe it but that is all we have to work with. Just the same as you wouldn't like anyone telling you what to do, you wouldn't like someone telling you how to think. It's all about how we talk to ourselves. Ask yourself, "would I like if someone talked to me the way I talk to myself?" I'm not talking about bragging or exaggerating. Just act the same way you would toward someone else. It is hard now, so go easy on yourself. We all do the best we can and that's all we can do.
Please sweetie hear every thing I am going to say, I lost my Dad Nov 24 08. My Mother May 7 09
my brother Fathers Day 09. I do know this when it is our time to go only God has control of this, I know your pain
when I read this I felt in my heart it was her time God needed her there, He had something for her to do
she's with my Mother, so don't you feel that way, I cried my self to sleep last night, My mother had a pain pump
and when Dad died we had to move my Mother 300 miles away where more family was to help with her
well she kept on telling me she wanted her pump fill, RIGHT THEN I let a day or two pass hoping she would forget about it, she didn't so I got on the phone to help her get it filled, the day after they filled it I talk to her and I know something was wrong I told the nurse something was wrong the next day I called again Mama wasn't right
I know she had to much pain med in her I called again and ask for them to check her they said ok.
TWO HOURS LATER She layed down and went to sleep, I wish I would of just let her keep wanting the pain pump filled, we layed her to rest the day after Mothers Day. I had to come home that was the longest 306 miles I have ever rode in my 48 years. BEFORE I SEND THIS I will put my hand on my screen and ask God to come to you and help you each day.
Dear Jesus I ask you to go to my sister lift her up let her know you are there Lord let her know her Mother
is with you Lord I ask you to fill the empty place in her life and in her heart, Lord touch my sister
Lord make her rainy days into shiny days Give her a smile wipe her and my tears away I know her pain Lord pick her up. I ask in THE NAME OF JESUS You said if we ask in Your name it would be so.
AMEN IN THE NAME OF JESUS
Bless You Always
I kno wat its like it gets better :))
