Death of a Parent


Missing my Daddy-O

My father passed away 2 and half months ago. He was only 54, I am 24 and his only daughter, though I have 2 brothers. My father was closer to me than anyone in our family. Maybe it was a father/daughter thing but he always felt comfortable to tell me how he truly felt. Which he didn't do with many people. He was a heroin addict most of my life, and used his addiction to mask his demons. I have been traveling for over the past 6 months and in doing so missed his funeral and having a proper goodbye. It wasn't a sudden death, it was a long time coming, in addition to his drug addiction he had liver cancer for 6 years. Part of me feel's guilty for not being there, the other relieved that he is no longer in any pain or shame or denial and grateful that he is at peace. I'm not one to join online chat groups, but if anyone out there has something they'd like to share or can relate to my experience, I would appreciate the support on these lonely travels of mine. Thanks for reading...
Posted by AL5446 on October 04, 2009


Comments:

I called my father Daddy-O too. Make it a blessing you were that close with a father who loved you with all his heart. I've felt the guilt of not being there during the last moments too, but everyone must make their own journey back to the maker. I think my father is closer now more than ever because he lives in my heart where ever I am. We were always of the same spirit. Nothing physical has changed that. His passing only gives me even more reason to live in spirit instead of worrying about all the everyday injustices we encounter of this world.

posted by JoeD on October 04, 2009

My dad passed away nearly two weeks ago, and I have a shockingly parallel experience as you. I live across the country from him & am in school but fortunately was able to see him 2 weeks before he passed. My dad had kidney disease for 6 years. He was depressed, mean, & had a food addiction most of my life. After his heart attack he had a second wind & and was a happy person who lived life more to the fullest. It was then that I got to know who I he really was, & really feel closer to him than ever. As you do, I know that my father is at peace, but sometimes the sadness of missing him is too great.

posted by LadyCat on October 04, 2009

I understand my daddy-o passed away just 4 months ago and i was his only child and his daughter he also had struggles in his life with addictions but he did over come all of them but the sad part is when he did over come his pain and loss he himself got lung cancer, liver cancer, brain cancer, back cancer, and hip cancer. He only lived a short 2 1/2 years i am only 30 so i do understand what you are going through i dont understand alot and im sure you dont either but we have to keep the memories the good and the bad with us always we had great fathers and they both knew we loved them very much and you missing his funeral because of travel thats okay because iam sure he knew you needed to do the travels to survive like he did for 6 years so please do not beat yourself up he can hear you still talk to him and tell him how you feel and iam sure in a dream or just a passer by he will let you know it is okay. Thanks for Reading if you need to talk more give me a chat back

posted by StacyBeals on October 05, 2009

My father passed away a little over 2 years ago, and I wish that I could tell you all that it gets easier, but I can't. My Dad was my very best friend... He was 50 and I was 24 when he passed. He died of a sudden heart attack, and I was actually the one that found him. He was such an amazing man and one of the funniest people I know.
I'm so happy that I found this site. It's so hard to talk to people who have not experienced the loss of a parent.... Not a day goes by that I don't want to call him to tell him a joke, something exciting, or just tell him I love him. One of my biggest fears is someday forgetting his smile or his voice... the list could go on and on.

Thanks for listening....

posted by cmarie on October 08, 2009

cmarie...
I had that fear of forgetting too. And just recently within a few weeks I realize there will come a day when you know you will NEVER forget.

posted by JoeD on October 08, 2009