Loss of a Child

Sweetie, your heart is gonna ache every day. Don't let anyone tell you it gets easier; it doesn't. You've lost the one person in life that was created to be in your care. But rest assured you are a good mother and your baby knows that. I lost my only child on March 1, 2009. I am inconsolable and have been in therapy ever since. I take medication and see a psychiatrist monthly and a psychologist weekly. I also attend church. I'm told from other parents that have experienced this that you never get over it, you only get through it. There's a support group called The Compassionate Friends. They are hlping me cope because its for parents who've lost their child(ren). You may want to see if there's a chapter in your area.

They're right. You never get over it, but it does start to get...I don't know how to say it..... more familiar, I guess. It's like when you start a new job and you hate the tension of not knowing how to do it, but after awhile it's ok. Nothing changed in the job, just your perspective. I guess it's like that.

My daughter, who doctors said might live a year, died three weeks past her 15th birthday. I have missed her every day in the seven years since then. But I know how to live my life now instead of missing her every minute...you'll get there. People that know you well might be able to help you find your way, and a group or counselor is a good idea if you can get yourself to go (I never could), but ultimately you have to find yourself a reason to wake up in the morning. It won't be nearly as quick as you want it to be either. Give yourself some slack. Know you're not alone in this but no one else can possibly know how you feel - I know what it was like for ME to lose our daughter but I do NOT know what it's like for my husband to lose our daughter. It's all personal.

Good luck to you. Know that people have gone through what you're going through. You will make it. God bless.