Death of a Spouse
MY WOOFIE
I just lost my husband on Oct.9th, 2009, to a long battle w/Liver Disease. He was an alcoholic and many years ago, during one of his many back surgeries, he needed a blood transfusion and it was tainted w/Hep C. We were only together for 7 1/2 years and only married for the last 3 of those years. We celebrated our 3rd anniversary on 9-9-09 and also celebrated his 6l birthday on 9-17-09. He was constantly in and out of hospitals for over a year and was so close to getting a liver transplant, but his body simply gave out. The doctors were giving him plasma and medicines to keep him hanging on for a few days and I had to call our Primary doctor and get him to stop the plasma and the medicines and let him go. Most of the family was there at his bedside in the ICU as the monitor kept beeping and flashing all these different colored lights and one by one we all saw his lifelines go flat. I was right there in his ear telling him to go 'home' and telling him how much I love him. I saw his last breath and felt like it was mine and not his.
We were (and always will be) soulmates that found each other late in life. I'm totally lost w/o him and can't even get myself out of my pajamas on most days.
The funeral was well done and truly honored him. He was a Marine and the Marine National Guard was there, did the folding of the flag ceremony, and handed the flag to his son, as per my wishes. The funeral home was packed w/family and friends - most of whom I was meeting for the first time and others that I barely knew. Of course, my husband's ex-wife (mother of their son and only child) was there and I felt like the funeral was held for her instead of me. Of course the funeral was very much about their son, but it should have been about me and the son. My own son (my only child) told me later on after the funeral that he felt exactly the same way that I did. It was like I was nothing and was just shoved into the background. The ex actually went to Social Security and tried to claim my husband's benefits. However, since she is very happily remarried for about 7 years now, she can't get anything. She and I actually have been very good friends for this past year. We always told everyone we met that she was 'the starter wife' and I was 'the finish wife'. I had no idea just how literal my nickname was going to be.
Bottom line: There are only two kinds of people: good or bad. We all behave badly at different points in our lives and we all need to forgive each other and hang on to the 'good stuff'.
I love my husband with all of my heart and soul and he will always be my only husband. To Tom: "woof, woof".
All my Love,
Di
We were (and always will be) soulmates that found each other late in life. I'm totally lost w/o him and can't even get myself out of my pajamas on most days.
The funeral was well done and truly honored him. He was a Marine and the Marine National Guard was there, did the folding of the flag ceremony, and handed the flag to his son, as per my wishes. The funeral home was packed w/family and friends - most of whom I was meeting for the first time and others that I barely knew. Of course, my husband's ex-wife (mother of their son and only child) was there and I felt like the funeral was held for her instead of me. Of course the funeral was very much about their son, but it should have been about me and the son. My own son (my only child) told me later on after the funeral that he felt exactly the same way that I did. It was like I was nothing and was just shoved into the background. The ex actually went to Social Security and tried to claim my husband's benefits. However, since she is very happily remarried for about 7 years now, she can't get anything. She and I actually have been very good friends for this past year. We always told everyone we met that she was 'the starter wife' and I was 'the finish wife'. I had no idea just how literal my nickname was going to be.
Bottom line: There are only two kinds of people: good or bad. We all behave badly at different points in our lives and we all need to forgive each other and hang on to the 'good stuff'.
I love my husband with all of my heart and soul and he will always be my only husband. To Tom: "woof, woof".
All my Love,
Di
