Q & A with David Kessler
Question from Joseph and Jeannette
We only want to know what happened to our son. Joseph Dominic Castaneda III. He was in the Army in Fairbanks Alaska. He was shot on Jan 21, 2006 and died on Jan 31, 2006. We never found out anything yet.
Joseph and Jeannette
Answer from David:
Dear Joseph and Jeannette,
First of all I am very saddened by your loss. I am going to attempt to answer two different parts of your question. I, of course, am not aware of what you’ve tried so far, and you may have tried everything already. Start with the branch of service he was in. Many times if people do not get a response they will call their local senator or congressman. Oftentimes they will have a staff member who assists local families in these matters. I can’t begin to imagine how frustrating and painful this has been for you in addition to the grief from your son dying.
The second part is - the grief you are dealing with many people call inconclusive grief. When someone dies we often want all the information, and you certainly deserve all. Families will many times want accident reports, autopsy reports, information to help them understand “why and how” this tragedy happened. The sad reality is that many people, in fact most people, never find all the answers they would like. At some point we have to grieve for an incomplete picture or incomplete circumstance. We usually want to get to a point where we’re feeling like we have at least gotten the basics. For your question, it sounds like there is probably more information to be obtained. I would encourage you to continue your quest for information knowing you will end up with not all, but perhaps enough to know that you have done as much as humanly possible.
I join with you in knowing that your son served his country and gave his life for it and now all of us who read this will not forget him either. We grieve with you and honor this tough journey you are still on. Please know you carry our prayers and thoughts with you in your grief.
Comments:
I would and the just like to say sorry for your loss but with the army you have to keep searching for your answers and don't give up because my brother was in the army and a lot of issues were covered up it took us 10 yrs or more to find out the truth about the way he really died. We found out because we went to the Vietnam Memorial Wall scratched his name on a piece of paper and then they print out a paper of all of the things he did in active duty and it told us how he was actually killed. Because we had a verbal story then a typed letter 2 of then telling us how he was killed 3 different ways that was crazy so I pushed and pushed and found out the truth at that Memorial
just before my mother died so she would finally have the truth she died not long after that just recently it takes a long time especially when you do not know what to do. So start with the Memorial Wall to see if you get any answers. I know 3 other people the same circumstances has happened with the army. Did not mean to intrude I just had to say something hope it helps.
I had to reply, I had a son who was shot Jan 28, 2007, was declared legal dead on Jan 31, 2007 and organ donation on the 2nd of Feb, 2007. stationed in fairbanks alaska, fort wayne wright... my son Joseph Dominic Castaneda III....was also shot, he supposedly went into a room and ask the soldier if he wanted to play playstation III with him, what ever transpired in those few mins. turned out that the military said that my son while on his cell phone, he picked up the gun and it went off... but after I keep pointing so many things that didn't match... like my son had a sling on his left arm from having it broke one week before... my sons cell phone was in his pants pocket turned off and button was secure.. I seen my son in the hospital, and there was no gun powder burn on his head, if my son did accidently shot himself there would of been burns, but there was ( 0 ) I was sent a cell phone that wasnt my sons. the last calls were at 12:01 am. my son was shot around 1;45 AM in the morning...the phone had one print of any kind, on it. my sons last phone call was way before that. and the actual owner of the phone was the other soldier in the room who was drunk. and with an illegal handgun that the military knew two days prior that he had it in his room and did nothing.... when I kept pushing just for the tuth... I just want closure, I don't want the young man to lose his life or his future,,,, but now all I get is silence, the military don't want to talk to me.. wont give me a copy of the accident report... our young men and women go to this war to protect our country and the thanks we get is lies.... a letter we get from the president is thank you for dying for us... glad it wasnt my kids kind of feeling... if I could have one wish, it would be to trade places with my son, I have lived a long life of 50 years, but he only got to 23,, he would be 26 this year on halloween... I never thought I could hurt so much as to lose a son. but as moms we all think our children are the best in the whole world....Pennie castaneda. I have wrote to every body in my phone book, funny I got one back, saying send us his name, age, ssn, etc... and we will look into it,,, but before I could, I got a letter stating that with the military and there findings, it was they military stated,, funny I didnt get a chance to even send it. don't know what to do, and I feel I have failed my son, and every one else...
