Q & A with David Kessler
Question from Susan
Dear David,
After my husband's death, I encountered many problems with his family and my family not being supportive with helping me cope with our loss and my grief...therefore I feel like we should move to a place where nobody judges us. You know, a "fresh start." Is this something I should pursue? Thank you so very much for your time and help.
Thanks,
Susan
Answer from David
Dear Susan,
You may have heard me mention it before, but it’s always worth repeating—that grief is as unique as our fingerprint. Nobody will probably ever be able to understand your grief, and your grief at times may make others feel uncomfortable. On top of all that, we do live in a “be productive”, “get over it” and “recover from your grief” society. As you probably already know, we don’t get over a loss; we learn to live with it. I am sorry to tell you that you will probably continue to find people who judge us on how we grieve wherever you go. While every situation is different, it has often been said, “Any major decisions you can put off in the first year, do so”. So, I would probably wait if you can and know that ultimately you will never understand your grief. And then when you accept that, you will hopefully know what’s right for you in your heart.
David
After my husband's death, I encountered many problems with his family and my family not being supportive with helping me cope with our loss and my grief...therefore I feel like we should move to a place where nobody judges us. You know, a "fresh start." Is this something I should pursue? Thank you so very much for your time and help.
Thanks,
Susan
Answer from David
Dear Susan,
You may have heard me mention it before, but it’s always worth repeating—that grief is as unique as our fingerprint. Nobody will probably ever be able to understand your grief, and your grief at times may make others feel uncomfortable. On top of all that, we do live in a “be productive”, “get over it” and “recover from your grief” society. As you probably already know, we don’t get over a loss; we learn to live with it. I am sorry to tell you that you will probably continue to find people who judge us on how we grieve wherever you go. While every situation is different, it has often been said, “Any major decisions you can put off in the first year, do so”. So, I would probably wait if you can and know that ultimately you will never understand your grief. And then when you accept that, you will hopefully know what’s right for you in your heart.
David
